It’s not you. It’s not them, It's the season.
At some point in your life you will probably experience a season of disconnection or loneliness. Getting older comes with different seasons in life which may impact your schedule, priorities, needs, energy, mental health and more. This ultimately affects our relationships and how they shift over time. It’s common with the changes to feel isolated, lonely, envious, or even rejected.
Identifying Red Flags in Your Relationship
When we struggle to effectively communicate with our partners it can be discouraging, exhausting, lonely, and the perfect environment for resentment to enter the relationship. Luckily, John and Julie Gottman, two of my own personal favorite researchers and therapists in the field, have conducted over 40 years of research on couples. I’ll review some of their research findings and provide information about how we can improve connections and communication with your partner.
Understanding Your Attachment Style
Have you ever noticed patterns in your dating life that start to feel… eerie? You may be dating people who are radically different from your last partner on paper, but the same issues or patterns seem to present as time goes on. It can be frustrating and confusing, and can often lead people to feel defeated while dating. So, let’s talk all things attachment and how your attachment style (and your partner’s) may be impacting you in ways you may not even expect.
Appreciating the Inconvenience of Compromise
In any healthy relationship, compromise is necessary. We have to be willing to “inconvenience” ourselves at times because we value the relationship over “winning” or getting our way. That being said, I believe there is a difference between compromise and sacrifice. To me, compromise means both parties are giving something up, whereas sacrifice means one person is giving something up. Feelings of resentment can show up when there is an imbalance and one person feels like they are sacrificing all the time, and there’s really no compromise happening. If this is you - how might you be able to communicate your feelings with the other person?