Self-Care

You know it, you love it, you hate it. 

It’s important and necessary and yet so many of my friends and clients look at me and say BUT…

I don’t have time

I don’t have money

I feel guilty when I take time for myself (this translates to: “self-care is selfish”)

Self-care is earned - “If I finish everything on my to-do list THEN I can…”

If you’ve felt and thought those things - you aren’t alone. I’ve felt and thought ALL of those things too. I’ve been frustrated. I’ve run in circles. I was trying and nothing was working. “Self-care” felt like a temporary solution to a never-ending problem. I felt like I was constantly working for my worth, trying to please other people, putting my needs aside without ever really feeling worthy and without ever really pleasing anyone - especially not myself. I was exhausted. And bubble baths and getting my nails done were not solving my problems. They were temporary feel good things (*which are okay too, keep reading!). It was (and still is) in the low moments when I wanted a quick fix - something to make me feel better, but the more “quick fixes” I did, the more avoiding the real stuff I did. I needed something different. I needed to look inward. I needed to stop running from myself and start taking care of myself. 

*Temporary feel good things are needed sometimes. Distractions are needed sometimes. Both can be considered effective coping skills. But it’s important to know they are temporary. They serve an important short-term purpose. They are not the long-term solution. 

Change happens when you begin taking care of YOU. So what exactly IS self-care?

SELF CARE IS: meeting one’s mental, physical, social, and/or spiritual needs 

Self-care can look SO many different ways, including but definitely not limited to:

+setting boundaries

+communicating needs and feelings

+resting

+journaling, meditating, exercising

+engaging in activities or practices that meet your mental, physical, social, or spiritual needs

+getting to know yourself and your needs 

+ challenging unhelpful and limiting beliefs about yourself and other people

+taking time to meet your needs before meeting the needs of others

SELF-CARE IS NOT: avoidance of one’s mental, physical, social and/or spiritual needs to distract self from thoughts of feelings

Avoidance can show up many different ways - below are a few examples:

+consumption for the purpose of avoiding thoughts and feelings

+over-resting for the purpose of avoiding thoughts and feelings

+over-doing for the purpose of avoiding thoughts and feelings 

It was when I began to challenge myself and my beliefs about self-care that I was able to better understand my needs, my worth and my value. 

Self-care can and should look different for each of us. It’s important to identify your individual and unique needs. And your needs will change in different situations and stages of your life. What worked for you 5 years ago may not be working for you now. That’s okay! Take time to evaluate what is and is not working for you and adjust your self-care routine accordingly.

Are you ready to take SELF-CARE to the next level? 

If so, you will be met with empathy, compassion and curiosity. And together we will be able to dive a little deeper to understand *how to* self-care and move towards truly believing you are worthy of taking care of YOU. 

Together, let’s change the world. Let’s empower women to believe in themselves. It’s time to believe in YOU.