So, You’re Triggered… Now What?

So, You’re Triggered… Now What?

Alright ladies, let’s get honest about what it means to be “triggered,” and how to take responsibility for what that means!

There has been a lot of conversation on different social media platforms about what it means to be triggered, but there seems to be a gap in the conversation on what to do when it happens. Let’s try to debunk some myths around being triggered, and get focused on what is, isn’t, and our responsibilities in those moments.

What Does it Mean to be Triggered?

The broadly accepted definition of “being triggered” in the world of mental health is that a person experiences an intense and extreme emotional response to something that reminds them of a traumatic experience. Triggers can be anything, which can make it hard to identifythem in advance, but think of a trigger as something that the mind/body associates with a past negative experience. When someone is triggered, their body responds in a physiological way that we call a trauma or nervous system response (ex: fight, flight, freeze, fawn, etc.). This response happens very quickly and is the body responding in a way to help aid in survival. It’s also typical for someone to have an overwhelming emotional response to a trigger, which can lead to dissociation in moments when someone is triggered.

There has been an increase in the casual use of the idea that someone is “being triggered” by a specific topic or hard conversation. It’s important to note that just because you may feel uncomfortable or frustrated by a certain topic, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are falling into the category of being triggered. It can be hard to tolerate feelings of discomfort or frustration, especially if it feels like someone is trying to push your buttons. It’s okay to set boundaries in these situations and to choose to disengage from conversations if they are not feeling productive.

Let’s get into what it means to identify triggers, and how to manage situations when you are triggered vs. struggling with the content of conversations.

Identifying Your Triggers

Triggers can be tricky to identify, as they can be anything linked to a trauma or nervous system response. It can be helpful to break down triggers into two categories: internal or external. Internal triggers are typically related to a memory, emotion, or sensation experienced in the body. External triggers are related to something coming from a person’s environment (person, place, thing, sense-based reactions, etc.). Being aware of triggers, and the body’s response to them, can allow for a person to take a more active role in managing traumatic reactions. 

An easy exercise to start identifying ways that triggers are impacting you is to make three columns on a piece of paper and label the columns as follows:

● Column 1– “Triggers” 

● Column 2– “Mind/Body Response” (think trauma or nervous system response) 

● Column 3– “How I Want to Respond” 

Take some time to list out everything that you can think of that leads to your body kicking into survival mode; examples could be a certain smell, sound, the holidays, a person, thought, etc.

Now list how your body responds (tension, sweating, panic attack, etc.), and then identify what response you would prefer (ex: I would rather seek out validation from a safe support person instead of turning to alcohol to cope). This can be a great activity to work on with a therapist, as they can help you manage trauma responses and learn skills to ground yourself in appropriate ways when you become triggered.

These Things ARE Your Responsibility When Triggered

Okay, so we have identified what it means to be triggered and how to identify triggers.

So, now what do we do with that information? Here is a quick list of action steps that can be

helpful if you are managing a situation where you’ve been triggered:

Work on Staying within Your Window of Tolerance– The term window of tolerance refers to the space where you can still function without feeling like your emotions and physical reactions have taken over. Think of grounding skills that are effective for you and try to be ready to use these skills to help you remain regulated if you are triggered.

Clearly State Your Feelings to Others and Talk to a Safe Person– It’s important to let yourself have an outlet when you are triggered. Many people will avoid people or isolate themselves when they feel triggered. Try to remember you are not alone, and it’s okay to let people support you through these moments!

Set Boundaries as Needed– Boundaries are something that can help protect us from unhealthy situations or dynamics. Let’s say someone in your life knows of a past traumatic event that happened to you, and they often discuss topics related to it. Setting a boundary in this situation may look like, “If this topic is going to be discussed, then I am going to leave the room during it.” A boundary gives you the opportunity to respond to a situation (remember, a boundary is NOT you dictating what others can and can’t do).

These Things Are NOT Your Responsibility When Triggered

It’s important to note some things that are not your responsibility to manage when triggered. Here is a quick list of reminders to keep in mind if you are triggered and around others when it happens:

Providing Detailed Information About Your Trigger– You do not have to provide information about where your trigger originates from. You may decide to share some information with trusted individuals so that they can support you when triggered, but you do not have to tell people “I’m triggered because of [this past situation].”

Apologizing for Being Triggered– So many people feel ashamed or guilty when they are triggered. It can be common for someone to feel like a burden and that can lead to apologizing for being triggered. You don’t have to offer anyone an apology for the experience you are having.

Other’s Reactions to You Setting a Boundary– This can be a tough one, but it can be fairly common for other people to dislike a boundary that you’ve made. Just because they may dislike it, that does not mean that you have to take ownership over their reactions to a boundary you’ve set. And remember, boundaries are for YOU to have the ability to respond to a situation, not for you to dictate other people’s behavior.

So, Now What?

You have a lot of information on how to identify and manage triggers, but now what?

First thing’s first, be kind to yourself! It can be a lot to manage when you’re triggered, and you don’t need to fight against yourself when it happens. Try to remind yourself that you’re doing your best. You also want to give yourself some space to prepare for how you can manage a trigger when it happens, and remember that you don’t have to do this alone. Reach out to your supports and try to allow others to see you in times when you may be struggling. Also try to have a list ready of ways that you can ground yourself when your body is responding to a trigger so that way you aren’t scrambling in the moment. 

If you need some extra help to work through your emotions, past situations and triggers, reach out for help from a mental health professional. We are ready to support you and help you navigate these situations.