Transitioning to Motherhood
From high school to college, college into adulthood, single to married.. We all experience a lot of transitions in life. The transition into motherhood has by far been the most challenging, while also the most rewarding and beautiful yet. Mom’s are truly remarkable, and the resilience through challenges of the transition into motherhood is an incredible reflection of that truth.
WHAT WAS VS. WHAT IS
There are so many changes that come with transitioning into motherhood. Physical, mental, emotional, and relational. Priorities often change, meaning what made sense in our life prior to becoming a parent may no longer serve us in the same way. Understanding the reality and benefit of this change does not necessarily make it an easy one. Maybe the past desire to utilize exercise as a way to improve your physical appearance evolves into a way for you to manage stress and take care of your health. Your goal to finish a book monthly may shift into listening to Audible on your way to and from work. How you view yourself and what you believe or expect out of yourself can be challenged and this can bring about a lot of emotions, including grief. It is common to grieve what was while simultaneously learning and leaning into what is. These changes and feelings can be overwhelming at times - often leaving us feeling lost, unsure, or unseen. In this transition it is helpful to acknowledge any thoughts and feelings without judgment or attaching meaning to them. Any emotional, mental, physical changes you may go through in the transition to motherhood are not attached to your worth and do not say anything about you as an individual or a mom.
Understanding the newness of each step of this journey can allow us as moms to give ourselves grace and kindness throughout the process. It is ok if the change is difficult, and at times you may miss aspects of how your life used to look. Missing “what was” does not make you selfish or ungrateful, and does not take away from the beauty and joy as you begin to discover the “what is.”
SUPPORT
Regardless of the reality of relationships evolving in this new season, having a support system is incredibly important. Have you ever heard of the phrase “it takes a village”? It truly does; and seeking support when you need it does not make a mom weak. We were not designed to navigate motherhood alone. Support looks different for everyone. It may look like family members, close friends, your partner, or maybe it is another mom up at 3 am also adjusting to the newness of motherhood.
THINGS I WISH I KNEW
While I have two step daughters, having a daughter of my own was a whole different ball game. People truly cannot prepare you for those first few weeks of motherhood, and honestly everything that follows. That statement is not meant to be discouraging or a scare tactic. It is okay to not be fully prepared. How can you adequately prepare for something you have never experienced? Motherhood is an adventure unique to each individual, and there is no rule book. We are all figuring it out as we go, so kindness for yourself can go a long way. Your transition into motherhood is not meant to be compared to the experience of someone else, and that is one of the most beautiful things about it. Each mom experiences her own joys, pains, challenges, and wins, yet we can still allow room to walk alongside one another in the process. One thing I have learned since becoming a mother is how freeing it can be to recognize and find confidence in your own style of parenting and showing loving your child and those don’t have to mirror anyone else’s. It also is not your responsibility to convince people otherwise. There is purpose in experiencing pieces of life differently from those around you.
On a lighter note, some practical things I wish I knew prior to motherhood would be how noisy our sleeping baby can be, to not over stock on one size of baby clothes (you honestly never know how long one size will last), two way zip pajamas are the easiest outfit for those early days (aka all of the cute outfits I bought were worn once, then never touched again), and not all babies like being swaddled. Identifying what I and my baby needs and to not get caught up in the suggestions of others (even if their intentions are good, to find ways to accept help from those in my support system and to consider asking if not offered.
MY WISH FOR YOU
Regardless of your experience with transitioning into motherhood, my wish is for you to know you are not alone. We are all learning. We are all adjusting. We are all figuring out how the evolving version of ourselves now looks.